Tuesday, 31 December 2013

My Story : Luck in Life ( Part II )


It's been over a month since I've had the emergency incident early in November and now it's almost into the New Year. This may not be the happiest post ever to end the year but to me, it's definitely worth writing it. If you've read the first part of Luck in Life then you'd probably understand where I'm coming from.
 
For what you read from now is what I've found out before and after I got discharged from the hospital.
 
So why I fainted in the first place was because I had an internal bleeding and turns out, it was a tumor rupture. From that, I lost a total of 3.5 liters of blood... When I heard that, I was totally speechless.. Which is also explains why I felt very bloated when I took a cab home that day when it happened. With so much blood loss, the doctors at the emergency told my parents that I was in 'shock', in medical terms : "refers to the organs and tissues of the body not receiving a sufficient flow of blood. As a result of the imbalance of oxygen supply and demand, a buildup of waste products occurs and can cause damage to the organs. This type of shock is known as physiological shock and can result in collapse, coma or even death if it is not treated immediately." With this, it explains why I had the cycle of being conscious and then fainting again.
 
So when I finally found my conscious again, I was already in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). Just barely opening my eyes to see where I was, personally, I could just hear a few people's voices and obviously without my glasses, I was just thinking, where the hell am I? All I could feel was a long tube down my throat, another one through my nose and drip lines connected to my hands and neck. After a little while, I heard a nurse say: "lets insert the oxygen tube (one through the throat) a little deeper just in case it pops out because she seems pretty tall." I wanted to tell her DON'T ! But obviously with the tube down my throat, it was impossible to say anything. What happened next wasn't pleasant at all, with the oxygen tube down even further, I started to throw up. Yes, I threw up, and it was the worst feeling ever. You know, it's one of those feelings where you try to make yourself sick...? Not that I'm telling you to try and see how it feels like but I'm just telling you that's how it felt. A little after that, I fell back asleep and when I woke up, I can feel the uncomfortable oxygen tube still there. After hearing a few nurses and doctors exchanging a few words that I can have the oxygen support taken out, I was relieved. I don't think I felt so eager and just wanting to breathe normally. It wasn't the first time when I've had the oxygen support and felt it being taken out, but it really bloody isn't great to have that thing taken out or there in the first place.
 
It was a relief that I could finally breathe normally, but I still wished that the other tube through my nose could also be taken out on the same day. They ended up taking it out about 2 days after I was transferred to a normal ward from ICU. By then, I didn't really know what was going on, except I was back in hospital again, only that when my parents came to visit was only when I actually started to puzzle back the places of fragmented memories together.

After knowing a little more after what had happened from my parents, I was given 4 bags of blood during the operation to take the tumor out. After that, I've been on iron supplements till earlier this month. Iron supplements are not the best for ones body, so what doctors told me was to just have a piece of steak. It's the best way to replenish blood naturally the fastest and healthiest. Shortly after I was transferred back to the ward, I had an up and down fever that never seemed to want to leave. Nevertheless, it eventually subsided with plenty of antibiotics injected as well as pill form.

I was very lucky to actually be able to spend my birthday not in the hospital. Though, I did have to be back at same ward to take some stables and stitches out on my birthday. I didn't actually want anything for my birthday but to spend time with my family. In my heart, I already thought to myself that I'm really lucky to be alive from what had happened. I know it didn't seem that critical to some people but still, to me, I'm blessed to be still breathing and living to spend a birthday at home.

It really is a bit of a luck in life for me with what had happened. But the news that came with it didn't really help. I knew something with up with my parents, because there were certain actions they take when they wanted to say something but just looked at each other, and made a slight nod or shake of their heads. I see why they decided to tell me the news the day after my birthday. Now, I don't say it's bad or good news, it's just news that I just got. So Monday night came, my father asked me a few questions about my sister and I knew something was definitely up. The only two questions in my head were, it's either about my sister or it's about me. There was no doubt about that because of the way he spoke. I asked if something was up with my sister, since she was coming home late at night (she lives quite far from 'home home', the time she was coming was a little awkward). I didn't really want to ask if it was about what had just happened to me. I asked, and he answered: "it's about your illness." I paused, thought for a quick second and replied : "Do I have cancer?" My father didn't respond but instead, he just nodded. Took me a minute before I started crying... For the rest of the night, I don't think I've ever sobbed that much ever. .

Things took a little while for me because when you're trying not to think of the word cancer, it's there at the back of the mind. Yes, I did even tweet about it @stephlui : I'm 25 and yes #ihavecancer.
 
I have one of the rarest types of sarcoma, as rare as it is, chemotherapy doesn't respond to it, so my only option now was undergo another operation, which I had earlier this month and now under medication to maintain it's state.

Why I'm writing this? One, it's to remind myself how precious life is and try to make the most of it while I still can. Two, not trying to get pity out of anyone, just wanted to share that even if you do have any illnesses, doesn't make you any different, and that there are people near and far you who love you just the way you are.


 
Just trying to live a normal life with laughter .
 
 
 
 
 

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your story x

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for taking your time to read it (:

      xoxo

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