It's taken a while for me to wonder if I should post this or not. I have had this written over 2020 and looking back, we were all in a dark place and the I've been looking back at photos to remember the best times in life. I'm just sad that I don't have enough photos with "someone" that I can look back at with. Its also a shame I can't share that same memories either.
This post could turn out to be quite sporadic as I'm trying to fit all in.
For one, at the end of 2019 when I stopped blogging, it shock me. I was in pain again, like I couldn't walk because of my diagnoses from my back operation - Spinal Arteriovenous Malformation (Spinal AVM). Turns out, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA). Not going to lie, I was at the darkest hole I could be again in life, thinking to myself "Could I get anymore illness than I already do?" (As if I don't have enough medical history as is... Well, on the brighter side of things... at least I'm a rare miracle case whom is still here typing this to remind myself how blessed I am to have my family's support in all aspects of life & from all around the world too.
2020 definitely has been a crappy one. Curse it if you will. Scream if it makes you feel better. Cry it out. I did alot of crying cause I feel so helpless not being able to work and hopeless in life not being able to walk or do anything properly with legs, fingers and joints that doesn't feel like mine anymore.
Everyones taken this year differently. Sad not being about to see others. Happy to stay at home more often to spend time with family. Bored out of our minds trying to find something to do other than work and house work. Social life has been on a halt for the best for everyone.
It kina angers me to see people travelling for leisure purposes. Just making the whole matter worse than it already is. I do often wonder, is it so hard to just stay put in one place for now, while (everyone included) the rest of the world manages to control the current spread. I can't help but think, high risk patients like myself, elderly, children in need can do with people not travel for a year to help NOT spread any more as a carrier (if they are). Been a hermit enough as is, got to make the most of it though right?
SO! being a hermit at home isn't as bad as you think. It sounds bad that's all but feeling safe and at ease at home is a blessing. Since being back in Hong Kong, I've managed to clear some clothing out from the wardrobe that I've had since I was a kid too. Making food at home is always a pleasure. Building model figures and potter around the flat to reorganise and minimise. There's no schedule to get everything done all at once. Just a little at a time. To be honest, I've been trying to down size my personal makeup collection as well. As one will always say, you don't need this much but it's nice to have them right?
I can't change the things that has already happened, I can't change the fact that I've got the challenges and obstacles I have to face. Keep telling yourself: You can change what's happening on the day as it comes your way.
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